what we'll be
by irnan
Summary: "One more bit of news," said Cat when Baelish had left and she and Ned were alone. "Gladder than the rest."  She smiled. "I'm with child."


_this is a disclaimer._

**what we'll be, or: the war of the five kings, in excerpts from letters to lady catelyn stark from her elder three children**

i)

We've done it! I write you from Riverrun, free once more. We've taken the Kingslayer himself captive! No doubt Lord Tywin is screaming with rage. I was never so terrified - and yet I've never felt so alive. I think I understand now...

They brought me the news about Father after the battle. I can't write about it yet. I can't even think about it. We'll hold a counsel in Lord Hoster's hall soon, and decide what's to be done - where we'll give our allegiance. Roose Bolton has been talking about Renly but I don't know how convinced I am. I truly don't trust him, Mother: he won us the passage of the Twins of course, but he got more advantages out of it than I did. I'm afraid there's a damn good chance he and Walder Frey might betray us to the Lannisters. Uncle Brynden suggested I might try falling in love with a Frey girl, but somehow I doubt that's going to happen...

ii)

I can't tell you how glad I am that I sent Theon to escort you home, Mother. Keep him close! Perhaps months of war will make any man mistrustful of his friends, but I've seen the aftermath of ironborn raids. If his presence at Winterfell is what's keeping Balon Greyjoy out of the North, then chain him to the walls.

Tell Bran and Rickon I'm sorry I've not written sooner. I took a wound at the storming of the Crag - nothing much, just an arrow to the arm. It festered, but Jeyne Westerling nursed me back to health. She's lovely, Mother - kind and gentle and good...

I've had word that Uncle Brynden's returned to Riverrun, just in time for my plans. He couldn't even persuade Stannis and Renly to a parley. And now Renly is dead in the battle and there's fighting all around the stormlands, and no one seems to know what in seven hells the Tyrells are planning. If they join with the Lannisters things might go ill for us. But only if my plans don't work.

iii)

We're going to remember Ned's first birthday for a damn long time! Tywin's armies are absolutely crushed. Stannis marches on King's Landing, and there's every chance he'll win it, now that little help will be coming from the west. We didn't capture Tywin himself, unfortunately, but we've more than enough hostages as it is. And even better news: the Imp has agreed to exchange the Kingslayer for Sansa and Arya. I'm glad I took your advice about it, Mother. Thank you. We'll make the exchange at Harrenhal; Bolton holds it now. Lord Rickard is furious; I think he honestly expected me to have Lannister's head off for the deaths of his sons. But the man is my hostage, and that means he'll not be harmed.

iv)

Oh, Mother, I love you! I love you and Bran and Rickon and baby Ned, and I can't wait to see you all. I'm sorry I said it so seldom before. I love you all. I'm so happy to be back safe with Robb. I was such a fool about Joffrey. Arya was right about him all along, but I wouldn't see it. Robb says it wasn't my fault, but he's wrong.

I insisted that he let me tell you about Arya. Mother, I haven't seen her since - since Father died. She escaped. She must have. The Lannisters never held her in the first place - she's much too clever for that! I know the Imp thinks she's dead, but she isn't. I _know _she isn't.  
>Everything's beginning to come right at last, and Arya cannot be dead, I swear it. She'll find us soon, just like Jon will find Uncle Ben, and we'll all be together again, and <em>home<em>.

All the lords bannermen have been calling me Princess Sansa, and I've met Jeyne Westerling, she's lovely. Grey Wind doesn't like her uncle, though. That troubles Robb more than he likes to say. So it should! None of the wolves liked Joffrey. Or Roose Bolton; he even looks like Joffrey. It's a look they both have. I told Robb, and he said we would have to be careful on the road home. He says he doesn't trust Roose Bolton either. He says it's all going to hinge on whether the Lannisters can hold King's Landing or not, now that Lord Tywin's forces are scattered and Tywin himself is stuck in the westerlands. He says he doesn't trust the Freys much either; I wouldn't know about that. But apparently they want me to marry one. I told Robb: never. They don't want _me_, they want the Young Wolf's sister. He says he doesn't much want to marry one either, but if it stopped Lord Walder betraying him he'd do it. So I said Uncle Edmure should marry one, and that made him smile.

v)

I don't mean to bombard you with letters - it's been scare a week since Sansa sent hers. But Arya's here. She was at Harrenhal all this time. Roose Bolton made her his bloody _cupbearer_. She's safe. We haven't told any of the lords bannermen yet, especially Bolton himself. Arya says not to trust him, but she won't say why - just shivers and looks pale. I think she must have seen some terrible things. She and Sansa are almost being nice to each other, and they both cling to Grey Wind a lot.

Mother, I don't know how to help them.

vi)

Mace Tyrell has joined with the Lannisters. King's Landing didn't fall to Stannis - I don't know whether to be relieved or worried. They say the man is just - which is better than Joffrey - but he rode to war against his own brother, and some say it was Stannis himself who killed Renly in the battle at Storm's End. There's a rumour the Tyrells and Lord Tywin want to parley with us here at Riverrun, but they'll have to come a lot farther north than that. The girls and I are coming home. I'm done with this - with the politics and the diplomacy and everyone maneauvering around their friends and enemies for some kind of advantage. Apparently I'm not very good at it! You should see Sansa, though. She's charmed my entire army - got them wrapped around her little finger. She's awfully good at stopping fights, too. More than once she's charmed Lord Rickard out of a fury. She's even made him smile.

I'm glad you kept that news about this bastard of Bolton as quiet as possible. I mislike everything I hear about it, and I have a feeling I'll have to have the head of this man Reek off as well. It might be a kind of spark to the flame of Bolton's treachery, if he decides to go through with it. I doubt he will, though. We might not have won the war exactly, but we certainly haven't lost. I don't know what winning would even have looked like. We defended ourselves successfully; we got my sisters back. And Ice. The only other thing I wanted is beyond us now.

I mislike keeping Theon confined to his rooms as well, but you were right to do it. It seems the only people in the world I can trust are the ones I'm blood-related to.

Damn him.

vii)

Mother, it's Arya. I'm sorry I didn't write sooner. I suppose Robb's told you I've been sick or something. Maybe I have. But it'll be all right now. Robb's shown Sansa and me all your letters. The Walders sound dreadful! Tell Bran to feed them to Summer. I can't wait to see him and Rickon and baby Ned. The Reeds must be brilliant. Especially Meera. I'd like to learn to use a net like hers.

Robb's getting fed up with everyone here. They keep trying to pin him down to marriages and stuff; Sansa says not to, she says it's the worst thing he could do. He just wants to marry Jeyne Westerling, I think. I like her. She reminds me of you, Mother. Though she _is _a bit scared of Grey Wind. Robb should make Uncle Edmure marry a Frey, then maybe they'd stop pestering him.

Me and Robb and Sansa are going riding tomorrow to look for Nymeria. Cross your fingers for me. I miss her very much - just as much as I miss you.

viii)

Moat Cailin at last. Mother, I've done it: I've asked Lord Gawen for his consent to a betrothal. I know there are more advantageous matches - what with Stannis in the east and the ironborn in the west and still no word whether they'll ally themselves with us or with the Lannisters or with no one, we need all the advantages we can get.

But I love her. And what other marriage would I make? With a Tyrell? A Lannister? Aunt Lysa won't stir beyond her Bloody Gate - won't even answer my letters. What point looking to the Vale for allies? Nor am I not fool enough to marry into a House I suspect has been balancing on the verge of treachery for months. Uncle Brynden thinks a marriage would stop Lord Walder, but I agree with you, Mother: it won't, not in the slightest. Joffrey's betrothal to Sansa didn't stop him murdering Father.

We found Nymeria! Arya has been doing much better since then. She says she's been having wolf dreams; well, so have I. Nothing to worry about, I'm sure. These messages from Castle Black do worry me, though. Mormont himself gone ranging? When I come home we'll take counsel, perhaps ride North... if nothing else comes of it, it will be good to see Jon again. He'll mock me mercilessly, I know it. King in the North!

We ride for home tomorrow morning, at first light. Give my love to the boys; Sansa and Arya both send you theirs.


End file.
